On a Red Eye

I can feel the words at the bottom of my lungs,
Creeping up my throat,
Pushing their way to the tip of my tongue.

As I blame the dust for the stinging behind my eyes,
Lack of sleep for my pounding head,
I feel your body pressed against me.

Because the sun is rising
Light dripping into a room of stale air.
And I can still taste the smoke from your tongue

So close,
So very close
To an edge I thought was gone.

And I want a reason to stay, or to go,
But reason flew like cigarette ashes
When you finally pulled me to you

Making me question former certainties
To abandon battles now realized
To be lost already.

The inevitability of being in this space
As the one you always call
And me as the one who always answers

Now I watch the city lights below me
Descending into a city far away from you
Unsure of when the next time is

Because it is true, what I told you
There is a moment in which you & I are
But we have not arrived there yet

It hurts to be so close to a future
Knowing it has not arrived
Right person, wrong time

I scratch out line after line
That would suppose logic
Or attempt a goodbye

Listening to the same songs
To quiet the thoughts in my brain
Wondering if you ever do the same

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